One Phrase + Two Days = Changed Ways

It first resonated with me when I heard it in a sermon. Every Sunday we get together with several other families in our area for church. We listen to the weekly message via podcast and the pastor is Todd Cook from Sagebrush Community Church in New Mexico. He is a gifted speaker and his words are powerful, God-inspired, and often hit you with a force that reaches your heart by nailing you right between the eyes - you know those kind of messages?

A couple of weeks ago he was speaking about the persecution of Christians around the world - a monumental crisis even today... This is what he said, "You don't have to go to church, you get to go to church." It resonated with me then - I felt its meaning, I understood it...I get to go to church with freedom and without fear of persecution - even in China.

The 'don't have to but get to' phrase has reached a new depth of awareness as I reflect on my time in Cambodia. We spent just two days there last week - one day visiting the people - the human element, and one day visiting ancient temples like Angkor Wat. I plan to blog more later from the tourist perspective, but for now I want to share how the experience touched me...

We took a rickety boat down a brown river and were witnesses to a way of life that cannot be captured adequately in mere words; likewise pictures cannot sufficiently reach the place where your heart physically aches... Many of the poor live either along the river in houses built on stilts or in the adjoining lake in what is known as a floating village. It is in the brown water that you will find people bathing, fishing, scavenging for recyclables, playing, washing dishes - here is what I learned...

Local people bathing or maybe searching along the bottom for items that can be recycled

You don't have to take a shower, you get to take a shower - a hot clean one and recycling is something you do to help the environment, not to earn your days wages...

Fishermen along the river

You don't have to go to work, you get to go to work - most likely where it is clean and air-conditioned and you collect a regular paycheck...

A woman washing her dishes in the filthy water.

You don't have to do the dishes, you get to do the dishes - in hot, clean, soapy water...

The local school which was overflowing with kids - our guide told us they learn just very basic reading, writing, and math because they will grow up and stay in the village.

You don't have to go to school, you get to go to school - where there is enough space and books for everyone, where you can run and play at recess, where your dreams for your future are limitless...

Every year the river floods and the people in the village move to the hills where they will live until flood season is over (a few months) and then they return to fix or rebuild their homes.

You don't have to pay a mortgage, you get to pay a mortgage - on a home that is clean, safe, and filled with more stuff than you could ever use...

This is the floating produce market - fish and a few fruits and vegetables make up their diet.

You don't have to go grocery shopping, you get to go grocery shopping - you can stop at the ATM after work and pick up everything you need for dinner in 15 minutes...

For me, the more I saw the more overwhelmed I felt with guilt, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness...Why was I lucky enough to be born where I was born? At that time, at that place, to those parents? Isn't that what it comes down to on a very simplistic level? I can't feel guilty about that, it's out of my control. So I must daily recall that supreme blessing and make the most of what I have. I also have to remind myself that they don't know anything else, any other way of life. While this is true, it's still gut-wrenching when I know what else is out there for those children. I know what the future could hold if they were given the right opportunity.

Emma and Erin are too young to 'get it'...if you asked them, the best thing about Cambodia was the ice cream, or riding in a Tuk-Tuk, or leaving Cambodia...I understand, and I know that they will often be reminded by their parents of their many blessings - they don't have to brush their teeth, they get to brush their teeth...they don't have to go outside and ride bikes, they get to go outside and ride bikes...it's my new mantra. After seeing all the vacation pictures of myself, my own personal mantra is: "I don't have to exercise, I get to exercise..." Hmmm...nope, doesn't make it sound any more fun...

My Life As A "Trailing Spouse"- Installment 1

It is my hope that this blog will serve as our family journal, documenting not only our big adventures but also our day to day existence living in a foreign country. I have in previous blog entries captured some of the day to day things which, in reality, ARE an adventure (shopping, haircuts, Starbucks). The installments into "My Life A 'Trailing Spouse' " are more for the people who wonder, "What does she do ALL day?" I am thinking of writing several installments which will cover the gamut of leisure time, school stuff, volunteering, church, etc.

To begin, I will start with travel - this doesn't seem like part of "day to day" things...but that's what's really different - here, travel actually is (while not really day to day) almost a monthly activity for us. We have been to Dandong, Beijing, Shanghai, and Harbin - all cities in China with diverse offerings of history, shopping, food, etc. In the states a big trip for us may have been San Francisco or Disneyland...this week we are heading to Cambodia and Thailand! We are leaving on Wednesday to visit Cambodia and the famous Angkor Wat for a couple of days and then we will spend about six days in Thailand. While temps here are still topping out in the 20s (fahrenheit) I have to dig out bathing suits and flip flops because we're heading south! Funny sidenote: Emma and Erin actually got out flip flops and were ecstatic to hear the familiar slap-slap on their feet. You might say they were giddy...like being reunited with a long lost friend.

Sometimes I wonder, how did I get here? In the last 25+ years I have lived in Chandler then Gilbert then back to Chandler. My travel experience consisted of various cities in California and Michigan...oh and a teaching workshop on the east coast! Truthfully, I still feel very out of my element when traveling. I have pinpointed my anxiety and have diagnosed myself with "fear of the unknown"... Partner that with "loathing to pack" and you know where my head is at this very moment. And so it is, part of my gig as a "Trailing Spouse" (I did not make that up, that is what the non-employed spouse is called) is to be travel-ready. While I do have certain anxieties (safety, bathrooms, food) when traveling, I know that these opportunities are to be treasured for what they are. What they are is eye-opening, spirit-enriching, culture-engaging, life-changing...

We are so very thankful that our daughters are learning and experiencing so much beyond the boundaries of America...in addition to Chinese culture and language, Erin can say a few words in Korean and corrects me on the correct way to say "Pakistan". Emma is always open to try new foods and can't wait to travel to Japan and Singapore.

So there you have it, travel goes hand-in-hand it seems with expat life...we take each opportunity and hold it close in memory...

Things that make you go...eeewwww!!

I shop for fruits and vegetables at a place known by the expats as (and it is aptly named) the "stinky market". The produce is lovely, the smell, not so much. It is a place where people spit in the very place you walk...a place where sometimes you might have to wake the vendor as they take a power nap on top of the lettuce...a place where just one aisle over you could purchase delicacies ranging from the head of a goat, cow spine, or unlucky mutt...it is a place where I have "a fruit lady" - this means I buy all my fruit from her and she usually throws in something extra for me like overripe bananas or something exotic that I have no name for, nor do I know how to eat it. Occasionally my "fruit lady" doesn't have what I am looking for or the seller next to her has better looking apples. This is a dilemma...I, white-skinned, round-eyed, brown-haired and wearing an orange winter coat can hardly blend in! So it is that I have to be sly and cautious so as not to offend the one that previously let me pick the untouched oranges in the box behind her stand or who threw some lychees in my bag for free. In the stinky market (and in any produce market of this type), you must carry small, often "moist" bills, and be ready to understand when they tell you in lightening-speed Chinese how much you owe (I have gotten good at this!). Fortunately, what you owe is remarkably cheap and the produce is fresh - you might call this "the silver lining" in a damp and smelly cloud.

I AM actually getting to what will end up being a short story but first I wanted to paint an accurate picture of shopping in a local produce market. Have I been successful? Are you with me? Do you get that it is not just shopping...it's an experience??!

The topic of my story is the one thing I did leave out of this picture: it has to do with the shopper's inevitable encounter with something moving, wriggling, squirming amongst the produce. There are entire boxes of these moving, wriggling, squirmers...they are silkworms. Oh, the first few sightings will be benign because you are overwhelmed by the sights, the smells, the piles and piles of fresh fruits and vegetables. Then there will be the day when you happen by them and say, "What the @*##?? They're MOVING!" The ones in the picture below look innocent enough skewered as they are but trust me...they are...well...eeeewww!!

A recent shopping experience led me to the only stand in the stinky market where I can get 'normal' mushrooms. Unfortunately I have to reach over the squirming silk worms to get to them. So there I was reaching, holding my bag up as high as I could so as not to accidentally touch the worms - I was carefully placing mushrooms in the bag when I dropped a mushroom in among the living. Now, I know how melodramatic this sounds but before I could get my "I'm an adult" bearings, I let out a little yelp and physically gagged at the prospect of having to fetch my mushroom (which I did not). I swiftly handed the seller my bag and paid her the money. All the while she was smirking at me like I was ridiculous...this is likely a reasonable, understandable assessment of which I am not proud. It is what it is...I am what I am...

Next time you're in your local supermarket, give that produce manager a pat on the back, an 'atta boy/girl', a "Gosh I appreciate the clean surroundings and that the only wriggling and squirming comes from the child strapped in the shopping cart."

Chinese New Year - Part One

Valentine's Day in and of itself is pretty much non-existent here but this year February 14th is monumental here in China - it's Chinese New Year. If you combined Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's you might be on the verge of approaching the magnitude of Chinese New Year. For the last month, the stores and streets have been decked out in red and gold and shopping has been even more of a exercise of patience and...well, more patience due to the throngs of people stocking up before things shut down for the coming week of celebrations. The kids have the week off from school and even Intel is shut down until Thursday.

Last night we experienced two important pieces of the holiday - eating jiaozi (dumplings) which families make together and eat for dinner on New Year's Eve and then again at midnight. Our ayi brought us about 3 or 4 dozen - hao chi! (delicious!) And then there are the FIREWORKS...truly, we hear them nearly every day of the year at random times during the day and/or night and/or crack of dawn - the Chinese love their fireworks! But the new year celebrations take it to a whole new and unbelievable level - everyone, everywhere has fireworks.

The video below shows what some of the dads around here call "kid fireworks". I am of the opinion that there is no such thing...(Emma is in the blue jacket, Erin is in pink - with a bow-adorned headband on top of her hat)

Our community had a little display last night after we enjoyed a potluck dinner. From about 10:00 on, and especially at midnight, the sky in every direction was booming with lights and noise. Mike and some friends went downtown to really experience it all and words can't really describe the sheer volume - both noise and amount - of the celebration. Everywhere he turned, he saw fireworks. It's worth noting that anyone can buy them, anyone can set them off, anywhere they want.

Here is a little snippet of the festivities from New Years Eve- the sound cuts out towards the end but you get the idea. Pay attention to a few things - the men running around lighting the boxes, traffic cruising by, and the distance from the buildings. ONLY in China:

We are heading downtown tomorrow to Xing Hai Square, one of the huge parks that will put on a show to end all shows. We have booked a room at a hotel in the park and have been warned that sleep is unlikely because there will be explosions all night. It's cold out there so we wanted somewhere to go for intermittent thawing. I will definitely blog with pictures next time!

Mrs. Fendrick was back! If only for a moment...

Yep, I came out of my "temporary retirement" to substitute in a first grade class all last week. There was a definite feeling of belonging...but not really; normal...but strange at the same time. I had never subbed before and never taught any grade lower than third so it was all new to me. There were only 14 students and I loved that they were so diverse. They spoke an incredible variety of languages other than English - French, Korean, Chinese, Spanish, and German - but at that age, their ability to learn languages is remarkable. Kids who started school in August with no English appear as if they've been learning it for years. How I envy that sponge-like brain of theirs! On Friday afternoon we celebrated Valentine's Day with homemade cards and homemade (gasp!) cupcakes. All in all, it was a great week although I was exhausted and left to wonder how I ever "did it all" before...teach full-time, picking up kids, laundry, shopping, cleaning (who am I kidding - I had my mom...if not, my house was a mess and laundry piled up all week!) It was definitely wonderful knowing that my sink full of dishes and my dirty laundry would be all taken care of by the time we got home from school.

Insert chattering teeth here...and here...

Harbin is located in northeast China and is home to the Harbin Ice and Snow Festival - even before we came to China I had seen the amazing pictures that someone had put together in a slideshow and then forwarded to the masses. It's only about an hour and a half plane ride from Dalian and there was no doubt - we must go! So now it is checked off our list...shivered there...froze that...got the pictures to prove it.

It really was a great weekend with lots of memories and beautiful pictures. We started our Saturday with a trip to the Siberian Tiger Park. Only in China can you board a small bus and ride into the frozen tundra where tigers are roaming.

One side of the window could open so you could get clear pictures - it had bars though, so no worries! Here is Emma, enjoying the view...

When a tiger walked right up to our window and started licking we screamed with excitement, with a bit of fear...telling Emma to keep her fingers inside...it was CRAZY! The tiger in question then turned, fluffed up his tail and SPRAYED our window... Let us not forget that Emma was standing - face pressed up to the bars on the open window. We will be forever grateful to that tiger for spraying the closed side, mere inches away from where we could have had a very different outcome. We just kept thinking, "What if Emma had gotten sprayed? Her face, her coat, her hair...!"

We got off the bus and walked to where the tigers were caged and you could pay 50RMB (about $7US) for a live chicken and feed it to the tigers piñata style. Mike was all over this...it was actually rather disturbing...

The pipes are in the way but trust me on this - there was a blindingly fast grab and one little chicken was devoured.

Mike and I with our travel buddies, Damon and Yukiko in front of a really impressive snow sculpture.

We toured the snow sculptures for awhile and Emma rode on a snow scooter (?).

Erin had had enough at this point and was in full whine mode - this meant that I also had had enough!

I can't really describe the Ice Festival itself because it is beauty and skill that reaches beyond mere words. Something else that can't be described? The cold...and the dilemma of Erin needing to pee - she was wearing four layers top and bottom and the only choice would be a squatty port-a-potty. Not going to happen, folks...she was crying but I was willing to risk an accident. (FYI, we did make it back to the hotel in time but it wasn't my finest parenting moment).

Here are a few pictures...

That's me in the back, in case you're wondering about the giant ninja :)

Emma on the ice slide.

Here's our travel group enjoying some shelter and some REALLY BAD hot cocoa.

Our final adventure led us to the local river...froze over of course, but with a giant hole cut into it so the locals (or "locos" if you will) can swim. Now that's entertainment!

Simply unbelievable...good thing he has on his swimming gloves!

Before the swimmers came out, Emma and Erin were the main attraction.

I shall leave you with this last photo, just because it's one of my favorites!

There are more pictures and updates on our website - December and January have been updated! web.me.com/fendog

Just to hold you over...like a snack...

Bu hao yisi...(pronounced "boo how eesa")...it means: sorry...so embarrassed...oops... Bu hao yisi! Can't believe I haven't blogged in so long! I am going to get back on track with sharing the goings on in our world - but not today! Today is just a quick update and next week I will start where I left off (back to Thanksgiving I think!).

Since my last blog in mid-November: it turned cold...we went to Shanghai for Thanksgiving...it got colder...we went to Arizona for Christmas and New Year's...it was a blissful 75 degrees...we came back to China...it has graduated to "freakin' freezing"...and this weekend we are going to the famous Harbin Ice Festival where temps will top out at 0 degrees Fahrenheit. So there you you have it!

Yes, it IS cold, but really, that is not what dominates my every thought - maybe every other thought. Here is a little funny from yesterday morning (a windy, snowy, 16 degree Fahrenheit morning): When I was bundling the girls up for school Erin said, "I just want to wear my coat hat!" So I got out the cute little pink beanie that goes with her coat but..."No! I want my coat hat!" After a moment of confusion, I realized what she meant was HER HOOD. Yes, I still have desert darlings who apparently don't know the word for the hangy-down-head-cover-thing attached to a coat!

Here are a few photos to help you feel the cold...

One of the bus drivers for the school made this adorable snowman - this is quite an achievement considering that the snow is VERY dry - not good for snowballs or snowmen!

This is the day we returned from sunny Arizona - while I was inside putting on my fleece, the girls were thoroughly enjoying the snow.

They put these "windshields" up all over the place to protect the trees...brrr...lots of wind here.

The view from our balcony at the beginning of January. It was the biggest snowfall here in something like 20 years.

No, my daughters are not looking Chinese (yet). Just an image of how the locals bundle up their kids - face masks like this are a must, and they all wear at least two layers of pants (often three - and they are thick and wooly!)

Look closely...this is a winter-equipped motorcycle taxi (aka - suicide on two wheels). Notice the furry seat and the oven mitt-like gloves attached to the handlebars. Believe it or not you can fit a family of four on one of these + the driver!